Long Time

After the long wait, I had a very low HCG level, so I had to wait longer. Then I was told that I had a chemical pregnancy. It has been very discouraging to go through all that and still not be pregnant. I am however thanful for five frozen embroyos so I don't have to start for the beginning again.

Two weeks ago I met with my RE. He did quite a bit of blood work to see if I have a blod clotting problem. I am hopeful he will be able to figure out a reason why this did not work. If not, I will just continue to have "unexplained infertility".

Waiting not so very patiently!

I am 7 days past a 5 day transfer, and it is driving me crazy. It is such torture to have to wait. I am going crazy if every little thing that happens is a good sign or a bad sign. Then this morning when I was driving to work the guy on the radio said his favorite verse was Jeremiah 29:11. I was so happy to hear it again as a reminder. I still have hope and a future no matter what happens over the next few days.

Nervous!

I am officially doing all my shots as of yesterday. I am so nervous that I am going to do something wrong, and it will make something not work correctly. None of the shot are painful, so I am happy about that!

Shots!

On Saturday I started the Lupron. At first it was fine but the last couple of days I get very irritated at the injection site. I have another appointment on Sunday. It just seems like all I do is wait! I guess if nothing else positive happens, I will learn patience!

Moving Down the Check List

One week down with the bcp. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the RE, and then we have all of our meetings with the different departments on Friday. We are getting closer every day!

A New Jouney

This week I will be starting bcp in order to start my IVF cycle. It is very exciting and scary at the same time. I am excited about being pregnant and scared about how low I would be if this does not work after everything we have been through up to this point. I am also nervous because I don't know what to expect since this is all new to me.

After meeting with the RE three weeks ago, we know that our only option left is IVF. Although I never thought it would come to this, I am happy that I have that option left. If I were out of options, I think that would be very hard for me at this point.

I am now waiting for my cycle to start so I can start bcp. It is strange to me because I never thought I would ever take those again! I find that very few people are very understanding about our situation. I hear, well you should be thankful you have one or with the world's population why do you need any more children. Well, the bottom line is that it is a dream that has not been realized. It is also hard when my son asks me why we can't have a baby like so many people we know.

Right now I am very hurt because of the people that have been not only not supportive but down right mean. I am thankful that I serve a faithful God that is always with me because without him I am sure that I would have lost my mind by now.

I deceided to start blogging because I think that it will be a good stress release for me to write down my feelings because I know that at times it is hard for me to communicate them.

Well, that is it for now. More to come as I go through this cycle!!